Calum Grant

European women

I have just come back from a city-break to Tallinn and Helsinki. You would expect me to be buzzing with tales of iced vodka, medieval market towns, sea-forts, museums and ornate cathedrals. Oh no. The most important thing about Europe is its women.

I have ranked European women according to my preferences:

1. Estonian
2. Finnish
3. Swedish
4. Dutch
   
5. French
   
6. Polish
7. Latvian
8. Italian
9. Danish
10. Flemish
    
11. Norwegian
12. Swiss
    
13. Spanish
14. Welsh
    
15. Austrian
    
16. German
17. Portuguese
    
18. Scottish
19. English
20. Greek
    
21. Turkish
    

Disclaimer: Your experiences may vary.

As you can tell from this chart, I have had a good summer this year going to the top three countries.

I have also decided that some kind of beauty quotient (BQ) might be appropriate. IQ is based on age, for example an IQ of 120 means that if you are ten, you have the intelligence of a 12-year-old.

A BQ could be defined as your age/your apparent age * 100. Thus, if you are 25, but look as good as an average 20-year-old, then you have a BQ of 125. This is pretty good. On the other hand, if you are 20, but only look as good as a 25-year old, your BQ is 80. To have a BQ of 200 or more, you would need to look half your age, i.e. a 36-year old would have to be as tasty as an average 18-year old.

Of course, IQ and BQ are complete rubbish anyway, and this entire article is a joke.

posted by Calum Grant @ 9:21 AM